90210-Episode 6 Summary

Disregarding the Living, Disturbing the Dead

A new student arrives in Mr. Matthews' classroom. She immediately flirts with him, and we discover that Mr. Matthews enjoys tacos. So, in summary, Mr. Matthews enjoys being inappropriate and eats tacos. Super. I hope he also likes being imprisoned.

No, no, no, no, no, no. It looks like 90210 is employing the Saved By The Bell plot device to get couples together-the 'ole raise a fake baby with your fake spouse project. This project DOES NOT EXIST in real life, yet we see it time and time again on TV. Make it go away. And yes, the teacher pairs Annie and Ethan together. How cute.

Naomi attempts an impromptu intervention on Adrianna, which leads to a brief argument. They reconcile, and agree to meet after school and her horror movie audition. I can't wait.

Annie's audition is completely dull, so hopefully, Adrianna will do better. While practicing in the mirror, she starts to crack. She can't remember the lines, and is shaking. She then snorts some sort of pill, calms down, and repeats he favorite drug-induced line to the director- she is "ready to rock". I like where this is headed. Yes! Adrianna gets the part, and disses Naomi to celebrate. She snorts cocaine in the front seat of an SUV. She looks so happy. I'm proud of you.

Silver is having a half-birthday party at the cemetery because she loves horror movies, but her boyfriend does not. So she invites him over to her now-empty sister's house to watch some. He notices a wall partially painted black, and Silver explains that she decided to paint just that one wall black. Looks like there was an emergency, because the wall is 2% painted. Not to mention, this isn't her house. Dixon falls asleep, disregarding Silver's bonding attempts. He blurts out jibberish after being woken up. No one does this. I see it all the time on TV, though. When he arrives home late, Annie's crying fake baby is creating panic. She can't find her. Oh, there she is underneath a pile of clothes in the bathroom. Dixon then, get this, CUPS the side of the mouth to yell "nice parenting" to Annie. The cupping of the mouth is totally unnecessary, as they are inside and 3 feet apart. Which wins this scene tonight's "scene that was written by a rhesus monkey" award.

Back to Beverly, where Mr. Matthews has yet another inappropriate conversation with a student about dating, and Ethan disregards human life by tossing his fake baby down the hallway like a football. After some playful banter, Mr. Matthews gives the new student a detention. During lunch. Is that legal? Clearly high, Adrianna attempts to explain to Naomi why she stood her up last night. While doing so, Adrianna takes out a tube of lipstick, which Naomi recognizes as the same tube she used to stick cocaine in. You know, back when she, too, was an addict. Uh, oh-the police have arrived for a surprise and highly illegal drug sting at West Beverly. In a panic, Naomi grabs the drugs, very conspicuously sprints towards the bathroom, and a cop discovers her trying to flush the cocaine down the toilet. Naomi gets arrested in front of everyone, but Annie and most everyone else realizes who's drugs they really were.

As night falls, students gather at the graveyard for Silver's half birthday party. Despite being marginally popular, it is very well attended. Thousands gather amongst the graves of the disrespected. Including the principal, Mr. Matthews, and scores of fake babies from the school project. Is it appropriate for Mr. Matthews to attend a student's party? Of course it isn't.

I guess city officials in Beverly Hills don't mind approving a large party at a graveyard, not to mention the family members of the deceased buried there. I know when I die, I won't mind having scores of high school druggies urinating on my grave. We do learn that the "new" student that was flirting with Mr. Matthews is actually an undercover cop, responsible for the surprise drug bust earlier in the day. Juicy!

Meanwhile, Adrianna appears at Naomi's house to thank her for taking the fall. Naomi pleads with her to come clean, and eventually, Adrianna agrees to show up at the lawyer meeting to tell them the truth. Just please don't go to rehab already-your drug abuse was just starting to get good. First, though, she has to tell her Mom. When Adrianna arrives home, her despicable mother thanks her for getting the horror movie gig, because it saved the house, adding a tremendous amount of pressure to my poor little Adrianna's life. Things don't look good for our heroine.

She again disregards her promise to Naomi, and leaves her to fend for herself at the lawyer meeting. Looks like Naomi will not be able to attend college or get a job, and may have to go to jail. Too bad. She didn't have to take the drugs from Adrianna, that was her choice. And it's certainly not Adrianna's fault that Naomi drew attention to herself by violently running away from the police. She'll have time to think about those poor choices while rotting in prison. Adrianna is the victim here, and has a bright future in teen horror movies. Naomi deserves to take the fall.

After the meeting Naomi calls Adrianna to berate her for lying again. There is no answer. Oh, nooooooooooooo! Adrianna has overdosed, and is lying lifeless on the floor as paramedics attempt to revive her. What a tragic ending to this week's episode. I am stunned. Will she live? Am I going to cry? Until next week...