90210-Episode 5 Summary

Catwalk of Broken Dreams

This week opens during the Adrianna witch hunt. She and her mother are cornered in the principal's office while Dad, Kelly Taylor, Brenda Walsh, and Mr. Matthews (Why?) interrogate her on her drug use. She claims it was only cough medicine, while also belittling Brenda by saying she hopes she isn't like her when she grows up. Well played.

In the meantime, Annie is a superstar. Everyone claps for her in the hallway, and some claim it's the greatest acting performance they've ever seen. If I was even in a play in high school, those claps would have been replaced with hard punches to my skull, and everyone would have avoided me as if I had the ebola virus. These are different times indeed.

While prepping for the Pacific Coast Fashion Show, Mom's boss declares that his #2 photographer is out. What a tragic loss. Photography is so difficult. Oooh, you have to get the angles right. And proper lighting is a must. No. Anyone that can physically hold a camera can do the same job as a professional. Mom will do just fine, thank you. And of, course, she shoots perfect proofs, so looks like she's hired.

Creepy friend inexplicably starts complaining when Dixon and Silver make out on a bench. Then threatens Dixon violently. Why is anyone friends with this guy?

Mr. Matthews walks into the school with Brenda and Kelly. He is walking awkwardly with his hand in his pocket. Then Dylan calls Brenda, presumably while hunting for orphans to save in Wyoming, and Mr. Matthews starts asking inappropriate questions. There is so much I hate about him that I could devote a whole blog to it. Thankfully, my hatred of him is perfectly balanced by my undying love for Adrianna. Let's move on.

We can't. After the commercial break, we witness Mr. Matthews' class in session. Adrianna raises her hand to ask a question about the assignment, and he embarrasses her by saying "no, Adrianna. It can't be about you". And the class laughs. Why is this allowed? Teachers are supposed to be helpful, and are not there to belittle their students. I'm calling West Beverly first thing in the morning to report this. It's OK, Adrianna. Those pills will help you forget. 

By the way, the assignment is a 5 page paper researching any career that interests you. What subject is this? Mr. Matthews then forces Adrianna to work with Annie at the big Pacific Coast Fashion Show.

After forcing this unlikely duo to work together, Mr. Matthews sets his sights on creeping Kelly Taylor out again. He probes her about Dylan, tells her he will wait for her (again, they have been out once), and thankfully gets rejected.

Time for the fashion show! Everyone is there, including a "producer" of teen horror flicks that invites Annie to audition. Annie accepts, and also gets Adrianna an audition. Good for her.

Oh, my. Dylan and Kelly's son, Sammie has grown. He is 5 feet, 9 inches tall. Weighs 195 pounds, and has the hair of Gene Wilder. He is 5 years old.

Back to the fashion show- the following is actual dialog between Creepy friend and random hot models: Models- "Naveeb? You're Persian"? Creep- "uh, yep" Models- "...and cute. C'mon, let's go meet some friends". OK.

Attempting to make amends for last week's sex ruse, Adrianna apologizes to Annie. Unfortunately, Annie freaks out, and angrily runs off. Right into Mr. Matthews and Brenda, of course. She libels Adrianna further by claiming that she's "probably doing drugs". Adrianna walks up behind Annie and shoves her while saying "You little bitch". Awesome. I love you, Adrianna.

Now comes the best 90210 scene yet. One of the fashion show's producers, while attempting to coerce Silver into becoming a model, touches her hair. Dixon grabs him from behind, and tosses him aside. Producer then says "who is this thug"? Mom steps in to defend him, but when called a "Compton Kid", Dixon rears back and punches him in the face. That'll show him.

As we move toward next week, we learn Kelly Taylor is headed to Wyoming to see where Dylan takes her. I know-Heartbreak Lane.

And finally, Adrianna is seen getting into a truck with a stranger. A stranger with drugs. Me likey. Me likey a lot.